Yesterday, I went to a chess meetup. Sitting across from me was a young woman who, when she was younger, had ranked second in Portugal for her age group. Today, she’s a twenty-one-year-old philosophy student. We played one-on-one, and naturally, she completely destroyed me.

But the chess match isn’t the point of the story.

As we were talking, she asked what I did for a living, and I told her I’m a coach. Then, I turned to her and asked: "Tell me, on a scale of zero to ten, what level of satisfaction do you feel in your life right now?"

She thought about it for a moment and said, "Nine."

I can tell you that nine is a number that usually makes me incredibly happy for a person. I was over the moon for her. A nine! That’s fantastic. "Tell me why you chose a nine and not a lower number," I said. "What is it about your life that you love and appreciate so much? If it were a six or a seven, what would be missing?"

She explained that she has a massive amount of freedom. She works as a school teacher, but she can play chess when she wants, read when she wants, and go wherever she wants. At twenty-one, she feels a profound sense of independence.

"Wow, that is fantastic," I told her. But then I asked the natural follow-up: "So, what would make it a ten? What does a ten look like?"

She looked at me, and this time, it took her a while to think. Finally, she said, "Honestly, my mom and dad are both teachers. I enjoy being a teacher, but it’s not exactly what I want to do."

"Great," I said. "So what exists at a ten?"

Her eyes lit up. "I want to move to the mountains. Not real estate like you do. I just want a house in the mountains." We talked about it a bit more, and then she shared her ultimate dream: she wants to open a bakery.

And here is why I am sharing this story with you.

How would most of my interactions have gone just a few years ago? When someone shared a dream like that with me, my immediate response would have been: "Okay, so what’s stopping you from doing it?"

It sounds like a legitimate question, doesn't it? What’s stopping you from opening the bakery? Why aren't you doing it? When you say you're afraid, what exactly are you afraid of? It’s a legitimate question, but it is aimed in the completely wrong direction.

Questions like these try to solve a problem. As coaches, friends, or even just as human beings, we constantly try to do a service for others by "fixing" things. We do the exact same thing to ourselves. We realize we want to do something, and immediately we ask, Why am I not doing it? What's holding me back? Maybe you want to buy an investment property in the US. Maybe you want to scale your business so it runs systematically. Maybe you want to quit your day job and do real estate full-time. Immediately, you ask yourself: What is preventing me from doing this? You try to understand the problem so you can solve it.

But I believe that "problem-solving" your dreams is a trap. It leads nowhere. The only thing that happens when you focus on the challenge, the difficulty, or the obstacle is that the obstacle grows.

If I had asked that young woman what was stopping her, she could have given me a perfect list of excuses: "Dan, I can't open a bakery right now. I still live with my parents. I don't have the money. I'm doing my master’s in philosophy, I have papers to submit, and there is no way I have the time. Maybe in the future, but not now."

Okay. Who cares?

What good does focusing on that do? How does it help if I try to give her advice on how I built a business at twenty-three? It doesn't. It only magnifies the problem. Because wherever our focus goes, that is what expands in our minds.

Think about the most successful people in the world. Whoever comes to mind, like Walt Disney or Charlie Chaplin. If you asked them, "What led you to build this massive company? How did you overcome your fears to present your art to the world?" I highly doubt their answer would be about hyper-analyzing their blockages.

I imagine they would say: "It was just very clear to me what I was going to do. It was clear what kind of movies I wanted to create. It was clear what atmosphere I wanted to build."

When we interact with ourselves, we have to build that vision. It’s only when our vision is crystal clear that we start moving, creating, and leading. Point B, where you want to be, must be entirely clear. Once it is, you just punch it into your internal GPS. Your inner compass will guide you there.

So, when she told me her dream was to open a bakery, I didn't ask what was blocking her. I asked a different question: "How does the bakery look?"

She smiled and said, "It’s a small, cozy, neighborhood place in the mountains." She was practically glowing. She was sharing her dream, and I was getting excited right alongside her.

Then I asked: "Tell me, what color are you going to paint the walls?"

What does a question like that do? It builds the picture in our minds. It connects us to ourselves. Because somewhere deep down in her heart, her imagination, and her mind, she already knows what color the walls are.

I understand there are a million reasons why not. There are endless challenges to doing what we are capable of doing. There are massive fears and heavy roadblocks. I get it. I know they exist.

But I want to ask you a different question.

What do you want? What is your dream? A small dream, a tiny dream, a massive dream. It doesn't matter, as long as it's real. Tell me what you genuinely want.

Let's say you're an investor and your goal is to own 100 properties. Great. How does that look? Where are those properties? Instead of talking about the gap or the barrier, let's talk about the vision.

"Well, I'll have 70 properties in Indianapolis and 30 in Europe."

Wow. Okay. Now, who are you? What are the qualities of a person who has built this life? What kind of man or woman owns 70 properties in Indianapolis and 30 in Europe?

"They are stable. They smile. They shake hands and look people in the eyes."

Do you see the difference in this conversation? This is the conversation we can and should be having with ourselves. Define Point B, and ask yourself these questions so the vision becomes undeniable.

When you do this, you realize that the vision isn't just about where the properties are or where the bakery is. It’s about who you are becoming. How do you move inside this vision? What impact does it allow you to make? When you understand these things, everything expands. Everything becomes precise. All that is left is to take action.

I have never been a fan of just teaching tactics and strategies. Not because they aren't important, but because you probably already know them. The real issue isn't strategy. The real issue is realization. It is the process of the "me" I want to be becoming real. That process starts with absolute clarity, and it continues with the courage to take the steps along the way.

Let's be honest: the young woman from the chess meetup will absolutely face challenges on her way to opening that bakery. She will have to choose her vision again and again. But that is exactly why this internal conversation never gets old.

Maybe one day you make three million dollars, and you still feel unfulfilled. Maybe you graduate with honors, and something still feels like it's missing. Fantastic. You just ask the question again: What does a ten look like now?

So, I will leave you with this question.

Six months from today, what is the best possible scenario that could happen in your life?